One of the books that I have read at the beginning of my journey was "As a Driven Leaf" by Milton Steinberg. If you have not read it, then read it. In the meantime have a peruse through some of the reviews at Amazon, http://www.amazon.com/As-Driven-Leaf-Milton-Steinberg/dp/189307904X to give you an idea. "As a Driven Leaf", is a sourcebook for Reconstructionist Judasim (Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan). As a FFB I was brought up to believe that the Reform and Conservative are evil and they have caused a spiritual annhilation of the Jewish people. We were taught that it is forbidden to enter their temples, and of course to attend their services. Having dabbled a bit, I think their theology is far more convincing, but in practice, their communities and lifestyles are just not comparable to an FFB "Jewish" experience.
One issue that Steinberg brings up is what happens when formerly frum raise their children as skeptics. The protagonist of the novel wanted to make sure that his child was free of jewish guilt and psychosis and was able to be a true Greek, albeit at a steep price.
The conflict with modernity is the eternal problem of Judaism. MO claims it is possible to achieve synthesis. Torah and Madah, yadda, yadda. There is a tremendous amount of literature explaining how it is possible to maintain the delicate balancing act. The apologetics rival the Christian trinity logic. On the other hand, my chareidi Rabbi once told me that if you stand in the middle of the road you get run over. As a frum skeptic it is in some ways easy to be able to cross to either side of the road, as you have the strong Jewish background, but are also a free thinker, and can feel comfortable in both worlds. Who cares if it makes you bi-polar.
But how about the next generation. If you raise your children as skeptic non believers then you have basically stopped the Jewish line, for better or worse. I am not sure how much I believe in the guilt argument about how our forefathers sacrificed so much just to see you throw it all away. An interesting case study is Alan Dershowitz, who is FFB, went to YU, and is the champion of Jewish causes yet has numerous non-Jewish grandchildren. Alternatively, raise children frum, let them be able to know their heritage, master jewish texts, and let them live in a life of blissful faith. If they become skeptic, so be it, at least they know how to shake a lulav.
10 comments:
Good post. I think about these questions all the time.
As for the "guilt argument about how our forefathers sacrificed so much", it's easy for people to play this card but in my view it adds up to little more than manipulation. For the children (and less so for the grandchildren) of Holocaust survivors this is a very hard guilt trip to ignore and saps people of their free will.
Lubab
The I wasnt sure if I wanted to mention the Holocaust - but it is always a constant shadow over our generation. In many ways I look at the strength of OJ, in terms of communities and schools and think it will survive, even if a couple of people go OTD
I think an important question OTDs need to ask is "What about Judaism is important to save?" I'm sure some say "none of it" while others (like XGH) want to save it all despite their newfound beliefs.
How about raising your kids to be Muslim. That may be the way to go considering Iran, Hamas, etc.
One should not confuse the ways of *some* Ashkenaz charedi from far eastern Europe for being the ways of all Jews. What you observe, how, and to what degree is entirely up to you and you have a wide variety of cultural elements to choose from just within Judaism never mind outside it.
Your creator is perfect and yet entirely tolerates your boundless imperfections. Why do we not do so as readily for each other and in relation to the post, ourselves?
Maybe because He understands something of the work in progress nature of us and has an idea how it is playing along while we're scared and dubious because we don't. Maybe we just need to try a little harder to be like the best of Him in whose image we're made and have faith in the long view. Maybe that will bring the peace and calm to decide without anxiety how you want to propose the religion and faith to your kids.
i read this book years ago. i really enjoyed it.
Jewish Philosopher,
Although you sometimes come off as intolerant and nasty, I really admire your honesty on your blogs and sharing your life history and personal details
Apropos to Parshas Yisro:
I dont know if you have realized that, but I think its kind of sad that many of your heroes in Bnei Brak or Lakewood, would not let their children marry yours because of your "interesting" past. Maybe thats why Yisro did not stay with bnei yisrael, and went home after seeing the "truth" תרתי משמע
Important post.I feel that if one is not frum the optimal way to raise kids is to send the child to a Jewish day school, a Schecter, a Ramaz which are easygoing but a little frum. Better to have kids just a little frummer than you than the other way, where you are unfrum but nudging the child to stay Jewish. The latter is very confusing because in effect you are asking the child to live off your nostalgia.
As to why...I think a minimal answer is...read Jewish history, not just the Holocaust and that's why. If we leave THEY will have prevailed. It is our existence, not the content of our beliefs that provide the lesson to the world.
Too big a topic for a little comment, but very ,very important and I hope you get a discussion going.
EJ,
I know this is an important topic, and it is what separates the men from the boys in skepticism. Meaning that it is one thing to harbor skeptic thoughts internally, while living the Prax, it is another to address the next generation with all of its ramifications. This is why I find Alan Dershowitz so interesting. He is of course highly intelligent, was totally frum, feels passionately Jewish, and is a champion of jewish causes, but his future generations are in jeopardy of being Jewish. I dont have the answer, except maybe move to Israel where you can be secular or skeptic while retaining a strong Jewish identity.
I read As A Driven Leaf a few months ago and was immediately taken with this strangely compelling story. Although my sympathy for the novelized Elisha Ben Avuyah character diminished near the end - as he valued his own quest for truth over the lives of others - it was a deeply moving and quite poignant tale.
(Little late with the comment, but I just found out about your blog from littlefoxling.)
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